tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50701484093677087102024-03-13T10:02:56.764-07:00sweet pomonaamyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.comBlogger74125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-70585090324859198862010-08-26T08:25:00.000-07:002010-08-26T08:25:47.124-07:00Horseshoe Craft & Flea Market: Q & A Thursday with Studio LilaCheck out my interview with Studio Lila. Love her and so inspired by her spirit and her art!<br /><br /><a href="http://horseshoemarket.blogspot.com/2010/08/q-thursday-with-studio-lila.html?spref=bl">Horseshoe Craft & Flea Market: Q & A Thursday with Studio Lila</a>: "artist Robyn Thayer, Studio Lila and Voice Last week, we had the incredible opportunity to head up to Evergreen for a day of art with Robyn..."amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-84150497651843412732010-08-02T19:44:00.000-07:002010-08-02T19:44:28.987-07:00made time.it felt so good to make time for painting this weekend. the more i get immersed in my business venture, the more i'm savoring time without computers, lists, phone calls. i want quiet. i want art. here is crazy sunday lady. sunday lady with bouquet mish mash on her head.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TFeB0JGVUzI/AAAAAAAAA_I/embkuNmGNyU/s1600/DSCN1207.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TFeB0JGVUzI/AAAAAAAAA_I/embkuNmGNyU/s400/DSCN1207.JPG" width="306" /></a></div>i've been catching up on some blogs tonight. i'm so <a href="http://mettaville.blogspot.com/">inspired</a> and <a href="http://sorayanulliah.blogspot.com/">comforted</a> by all of you blogging, creators across the land :)<br />
i hope to write more later. i kind of miss being here on sweet pomona.<br />
good night.<br />
xoamyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-77604655866777299812010-07-25T21:15:00.000-07:002010-07-25T21:15:33.302-07:00hello<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TE0Ls7Z2PHI/AAAAAAAAA-g/mAXEszAXVQY/s1600/DSCN1180.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TE0Ls7Z2PHI/AAAAAAAAA-g/mAXEszAXVQY/s400/DSCN1180.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>well, it's sunday night...and i didn't paint this weekend. but...i did start to clean my studio. sort of. tomorrow i commit to paint for at least one hour. one wee hour.<br />
here's a painting i did with my friend, tiffany. the photo is not the best because of the glare. she seems contemplative and peaceful. i could use a little more of both of those things!<br />
happy new week, everyone.<br />
xo<br />
amyamyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-54573756769447914142010-07-21T07:07:00.000-07:002010-07-21T07:11:44.399-07:00new thingsit's been so long since i've posted...almost a month! i've been swamped with a <a href="http://www.horseshoecraftandflea.com/">new creative project</a>, a <a href="http://www.mondobeyondo.org/">mondo beyondo</a> dream :) i'm directing and organizing the <a href="http://www.horseshoecraftandflea.com/">Horseshoe Craft and Flea Market</a> here in denver...it's a market where emerging and experienced artists, designers, crafters and vintage/antique collectors can sell their wares, and where denverites can shop locally and interact with and buy from the makers and collectors of their unique goods. i'm calling it the "horseshoe" because i always think when you go to a flea market or art/craft fair, you are really hoping to get "lucky" and get something really freakin' awesome. which many times ends up happening, and is sure to happen at the Horseshoe! <br />
<br />
i found a <a href="http://cargocollective.com/lisarundall">great graphic designer</a> in my neighborhood--and it turns out i know her brother and sister-in-law! i used to share office space with her sister-in-law. small world. she has been a great help, i'm super happy with her work, and she's also going to be a jewelry vendor in the <a href="http://www.horseshoecraftandflea.com/">market</a>!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TEb8JWQNCBI/AAAAAAAAA-Y/v4i8u6ayos4/s1600/Picture+3.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TEb8JWQNCBI/AAAAAAAAA-Y/v4i8u6ayos4/s400/Picture+3.png" width="400" /></a></div>as with everything in life, there have been ups and downs and good and bad. the ups and the good--i've had a great first week of vendor applications since "launching" last wednesday! yay! it's also been so fun to just have fun with it, and let it unfold in a somewhat organic way. the downs and the bad--i'm on my computer 24-7, my back and neck hurt, i'm developing that pastey, at-the-computer-all-day complexion, i'm distracted, not very present with the people around me. working on that. i'm hoping to regain some balance here soon.<br />
<br />
also, a few weeks ago, i painted with my friend tiffany! i'll post my little painting later, and i'm also hoping tiffany gets a website/blog soon and you can enjoy her work, too. she's GREAT!<br />
<br />
okay, more later. off to do horseshoe "stuff." spread the word! here's our website: http://www.horseshoecraftandflea.com, and please follow us on <a href="http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#%21/pages/Denver-CO/Horseshoe-Craft-Flea-Market/130563076981557?ref=ts&__a=7&ajaxpipe=1">facebook</a> and <a href="http://twitter.com/horseshoemarket">twitter</a>!!!!<br />
<br />
oh, and that's funny--i had to re-join facebook to market this...and inadvertently created a "personal profile" so i said, "what the hell." i'm back on the FB. this is funny because i wrote <a href="http://sweetpomona.blogspot.com/2010/05/dismantling.html">a long, earnest blog post</a> about how much i hate facebook. well, in terms of business, i see a lot of good things for it. and it is nice to see friends on there--but i still have some inner angst about it ;)<br />
<br />
happy wednesday<br />
amyamyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-59639723434178732082010-06-28T20:25:00.001-07:002010-06-28T20:36:51.082-07:00Green Wish FoundationHere is my husband's new green venture...<br />
<a href="http://greenwishfoundation.blogspot.com/">Green Wish Foundation</a><br />
<br />
"Find some trash, pick it up, all day long you'll have good luck!"amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-56633382031012835092010-06-28T10:23:00.000-07:002010-06-28T10:23:28.188-07:00the art workshop<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCjZQRpknlI/AAAAAAAAA94/vZkb1jsy_NA/s1600/DSCN0759.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCjZQRpknlI/AAAAAAAAA94/vZkb1jsy_NA/s320/DSCN0759.JPG" /></a></div><span class="aaTextMain"><span class="aaTextMain"></span></span>was awesome. <a href="http://joyouslybecoming.typepad.com/">katie kendrick</a> was an amazing, gentle, intuitive teacher. and she was sweet and funny. there she is above in the apron. her work is awesome...her faces are complicated yet simple, colorful, FULL of life. she taught us some cool new techniques which was just what i needed. she taught us to use our intuition, calm the inner judge, and use our creative brains. i learned a lot about light and dark, color, layering. again, it was just what i needed because i've been feeling stuck.<br />
<br />
here are my faces.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCjYckXchsI/AAAAAAAAA9Y/NE3yZGHOVHA/s1600/DSCN0990.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCjYckXchsI/AAAAAAAAA9Y/NE3yZGHOVHA/s320/DSCN0990.JPG" /></a><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCjYjYckimI/AAAAAAAAA9g/iFZ3YuGHpMk/s1600/DSCN0991.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCjYjYckimI/AAAAAAAAA9g/iFZ3YuGHpMk/s320/DSCN0991.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCjYpcgg_mI/AAAAAAAAA9o/IuDBScXIMqQ/s1600/DSCN0993.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCjYpcgg_mI/AAAAAAAAA9o/IuDBScXIMqQ/s320/DSCN0993.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCjY6m4FjDI/AAAAAAAAA9w/ziR5b02VQck/s1600/DSCN0758.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCjY6m4FjDI/AAAAAAAAA9w/ziR5b02VQck/s320/DSCN0758.JPG" /></a></div>there were some great women at the workshop, as well. amy, robyn, tiffany among others. <a href="http://www.studiolila.com/">robyn</a>(green shirt) is a working artist in evergreen, co. <a href="http://www.studiolila.com/art.htm">her work</a> is amazing!<br />
<br />
it was a great friday of art! amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-5123813374090790162010-06-27T22:07:00.000-07:002010-06-27T22:19:19.616-07:00all in a year.what a year. anyone who knows us knows we've had a hell of a year. i've learned a lot. grateful for a lot. and am glad my husband and i have both chose to be "twice born." ;)<br />
(see the following)<br />
i'm reading broken open:how difficult times can help us grow, by elizabeth lesser. best book ever.<br />
from <a href="http://www.randomhouse.com/rhpg/features/BrokenOpen/broken-open.html">broken open</a>...<br />
<a href="http://www.randomhouse.com/rhpg/features/BrokenOpen/broken-open.html" target="_blank"></a><i style="color: black;"> </i><br />
<span id="more-40"></span><br />
"It was <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/William_James" target="_blank" title="William James - Philosopher">William James</a>, philosopher who wrote that there are two kinds of people in this world the ‘<b style="font-weight: normal;">Once-Born</b>‘ and the ‘<b style="font-weight: normal;">Twice-Born</b>‘.<br />
<b style="font-weight: normal;">Once-Born</b> people do not stray from the familiar territory of who they think they are, and what they think is expected of them. If fate pushes them to the edge of <b>Dante’s</b> famous dark woods ‘where the straight way is lost’ they turn back. They don’t want to learn something new from life’s darker lessons. They stay with what seems safe, and what is acceptable to their family and society. They stick to what they already know but don’t necessarily want....<br />
<br />
A <b style="font-weight: normal;">Twice-Born</b> person pays attention when the soul pokes it’s head through the clouds of a half-lived life. Whether through choice or calamity, the Twice-Born person goes into the woods, loses the straight way, makes mistakes, suffers loss, and confront that which needs to change within himself in order to live a more genuine and radiant life.<br />
<span style="color: black;">Twice-Born</span><b><span style="color: black;"> </span></b>people use the difficult change in their outer lives to make the harder changes within. While Once-Born people avoid or deny or bitterly accept the unpredictable changes of real life, Twice-Born people use adversity for awakening. Betrayal, illness, divorce, the demise of a dream, the loss of a loved one-all of these can function as initiations into deeper life. The journey from once-born to twice-born brings us to a crossroads where the old ways of doing things are no longer working but a better way lies somewhere at the far edge of the woods. We are afraid to step into those woods but even more afraid to turn back. To turn back is one kind of death. to go forward is another.<br />
The first kind of death ends in ashes, the second leads toward rebirth. For some of us, the day arrives when we step willingly into the woods. A longing to wake up, to feel more alive, to feel ‘something’ spurs us beyond our fear. Some of us resist like hell until the forces of fate deliver a crisis. <b style="font-weight: normal;">Some of us get sick and tired of filling an inner emptiness with drugs or drinks or food</b>, and we turn and face our real hunger: our soul hunger, Twice-Born people trade the safety of the known for the power of the un-known.<br />
Something calls them into the woods, where the straight path vanishes, and there is no running back, only going through. This is not easy. It is not a made-up fairy tale. It is very real and difficult. To face our shadow, the dragons and hags that we have spent a lifetime running away from is perhaps the most difficult journey we will ever take. But it is there, in the shadows, that we retrieve our hidden parts, learn our lessons, and give birth to the wise and mature self. From an experience, we know that the difficulty of the dark journey is matched only by it’s rewards."<br />
<br />
that was a long one. but i love it. <br />
<br />
last year, this is what we did today:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCgs5EHMqGI/AAAAAAAAA9A/QyGaVSvBJwg/s1600/ceremony-0171.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCgs5EHMqGI/AAAAAAAAA9A/QyGaVSvBJwg/s320/ceremony-0171.jpg" /></a></div>this is what we did today this year. well, technically, last night. camping.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCgtMV5pPiI/AAAAAAAAA9I/t8M8km2o0x0/s1600/DSCN0950.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCgtMV5pPiI/AAAAAAAAA9I/t8M8km2o0x0/s320/DSCN0950.JPG" /></a></div><br />
this was today--driving through the glorious, colorado mountains.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCgtuvtBilI/AAAAAAAAA9Q/GRx8FXnjCjI/s1600/DSCN0983.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCgtuvtBilI/AAAAAAAAA9Q/GRx8FXnjCjI/s320/DSCN0983.JPG" /></a></div><br />
<br />
another year we welcome, surrender to, trust...<br />
<br />
xoamyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-45627195372736476152010-06-24T18:54:00.001-07:002010-06-24T18:54:40.090-07:00saved.<object height="385" width="640"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qpunQZ4cUyI&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qpunQZ4cUyI&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xd0d0d0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-47230458120822643982010-06-24T07:37:00.000-07:002010-06-24T07:37:14.012-07:00reminders of enoughi stumbled upon this video looking up this author, Wayne Muller. He is the author of a <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0553380117?ie=UTF8&tag=waynmull-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=390957&creativeASIN=0553380117">Sabbath: Finding Rest, Renewal and Delight in Our Busy Lives</a>. among other books.<br />
enjoy this video and realize how having a small locus of control is actually a good thing. a freeing thing. <object height="385" width="480"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ldgJjrgtrDg&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ldgJjrgtrDg&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="480" height="385"></embed></object>amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-23307293363504868142010-06-21T21:51:00.000-07:002010-06-21T21:54:38.898-07:00more dreaming.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
Dream. Dream. Dream. More dreaming.<br />
<br />
I decided to do the <a href="http://www.mondobeyondo.org/dreamlab"> dream lab</a>. My friend, Sarah, brought it up and at first I thought--no, no can do. I'm done dreaming. But then I reassessed. It just seemed right. So I signed up and I'm excited about it!<br />
<br />
A few mondo beyondo dreams have unfolded. #1--our neighbors moved out. AND, before they moved out, they APOLOGIZED for being bad neighbors. And we also apologized for not being the best neighbors, too. It was really kind of amazing and healing.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCA_dSB8v-I/AAAAAAAAA8o/1ChEFQtAnUk/s1600/DSCN0737.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br />
</a></div>#2--the universe is answering some other mondo but I don't want to jinx it so I'm just not going to talk about it right now.<br />
<br />
#3--art workshop--I'm going to a <a href="http://www.theartistsnook.net/w-kendrickeveryface.shtml">Katie Kendrick workshop</a> this weekend! Whoohooo!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCA_lyR0RuI/AAAAAAAAA8w/K4CPyNaw6kE/s1600/DSCN0755.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCA_lyR0RuI/AAAAAAAAA8w/K4CPyNaw6kE/s320/DSCN0755.JPG" /></a></div>Here's something I've been working on. It's acrylic and mixed media on wood. Not sure if it's done or where it's going. I did layers and layers of paint on top of magazine and children's encyclopedia pictures. Then when the paint dried, I started scratching at it, and then I started to uncover what I had originally mod podged down and had forgotten about. I've been having fun in my studio.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCA_SJ65MoI/AAAAAAAAA8g/ThYRrv7QNts/s1600/DSCN0719.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCA_SJ65MoI/AAAAAAAAA8g/ThYRrv7QNts/s320/DSCN0719.JPG" /></a></div>Oh, and I got a haircut. It's a little short but I've been itching to get a shorter haircut for a long time and I took the plunge.<br />
<br />
Oh, and I also got a sturdy, $13 easel this weekend at a garage sale. And this vintage apron that I will use for painting. And that mirror there is also a $5 thrift store find. It's big and heavy and I'm still not sure what I'm going to do with it.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCBAgJI-4PI/AAAAAAAAA84/SDc2sPzdMoY/s1600/DSCN0737.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TCBAgJI-4PI/AAAAAAAAA84/SDc2sPzdMoY/s320/DSCN0737.JPG" /></a></div>I'm so sleepy and off to bed. Happy summer solstice to all! <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-60612130955373718472010-06-16T18:30:00.000-07:002010-07-23T09:38:18.149-07:00Artist websitehttp://www.amyberganyetman.comamyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-84808005634173367262010-06-16T18:11:00.000-07:002010-06-17T07:01:31.659-07:00an ode to realness.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBl1q6PC2WI/AAAAAAAAA8E/RtDvDje-HSQ/s1600/IMG_2621.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBl1q6PC2WI/AAAAAAAAA8E/RtDvDje-HSQ/s320/IMG_2621.JPG" /></a></div>i have so much i want to write, to get out of my head. i just can't do it right now. maybe it's because i'm trying too hard or i think i have to write each post "perfectly" even though, clearly, i don't write perfect posts. you know what i mean?<br />
<br />
anyway, i was just inspired, touched, and enlightened by <a href="http://jenlemen.com/blog/">jen lemen's blog</a>, master real-person and one of the <a href="http://mondobeyondo.org/">mondo beyond</a> folk. go read her stuff. wow. talk about taking off the mask and just being. reading her post, the most recent one, made me seriously drop my shoulders, take a deep breath, soften my face. how often i try to "keep myself together" and "do the right thing." it can feel so rigid and lifeless. oh and i also "try not to be so deep" because i'm "too much" and very "self-indulgent." i'm not "giving" enough and blah blah blah. the race in the head that leaves out the heart.<br />
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anyone relate?amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-24922110449513767932010-06-12T11:24:00.000-07:002010-06-12T16:11:13.757-07:00Soft Landings<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBO1rlNJ7zI/AAAAAAAAA5o/uEx-PG5-CuI/s1600/DSCN0453.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBO1rlNJ7zI/AAAAAAAAA5o/uEx-PG5-CuI/s400/DSCN0453.JPG" width="300" /></a></div><br />
<div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></div>I'm trying to figure out how to redo my blog. I even got a typepad account, and haven't been able to figure out how to do the dang thing. Now, blogger has all these new design options, so I'm just playing around. It's both fun and frustrating to be learning this stuff.<br />
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Life has been so busy. I haven't been doing much art, but I hope to get to some today. Lots has unfolded. We went to Tucson for a family wedding in the desert. It was beautiful.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBQOhO7yB6I/AAAAAAAAA58/bG5IhFEERvQ/s1600/DSCN0482.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBQOhO7yB6I/AAAAAAAAA58/bG5IhFEERvQ/s320/DSCN0482.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBQOoEIBMDI/AAAAAAAAA6E/qcCab6msfCs/s1600/DSCN0492.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBQOoEIBMDI/AAAAAAAAA6E/qcCab6msfCs/s320/DSCN0492.JPG" /> </a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Gorgeous bride in her vintage slip wedding dress.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBQO20uFD-I/AAAAAAAAA6M/Zm065Ffng_Q/s1600/DSCN0499.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBQO20uFD-I/AAAAAAAAA6M/Zm065Ffng_Q/s320/DSCN0499.JPG" /></a></div>I really like the desert. And the paper flowers at the wedding.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBQPqckOwzI/AAAAAAAAA6U/CzMjFJBAiRY/s1600/DSCN0463.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBQPqckOwzI/AAAAAAAAA6U/CzMjFJBAiRY/s320/DSCN0463.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I love this abandoned foundation of a stone house we found on a hike. It was on a trail called the Yetman Trail. It's really bizarre--I was in Tucson about five years ago with an ex-boyfriend. He was working the whole time, and I was alone and went hiking on this trail a few times and saw this same house. Turns out, the Yetman Trail is named after my now-husband's uncle. The same uncle who married us. Weird and cool and crazy, huh? Maybe it's just me.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBQSfO8jSpI/AAAAAAAAA68/gA_pN5WCNB4/s1600/DSCN0451.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBQSfO8jSpI/AAAAAAAAA68/gA_pN5WCNB4/s320/DSCN0451.JPG" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBQQnBhaMOI/AAAAAAAAA6k/6suzObVnvAo/s1600/28371_1477773941698_1154241334_31399424_2980425_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TBQQnBhaMOI/AAAAAAAAA6k/6suzObVnvAo/s320/28371_1477773941698_1154241334_31399424_2980425_n.jpg" /></a></div>Being in Tucson, it kind of made me want to move there. However, there could be some downsides to living in the desert--the heat, number one. And number two, there are no "soft landings" anywhere. One of Doug's relatives told me that on the trip--if you go hiking or biking and you fall, it's going to hurt. And the night of the wedding, I got a little dose of that. I was scooting past a Prickly Pear cactus and it stuck me. I thought it was no big deal, but man, do those prickles burrow in your skin. But I managed to get all the tiny needles out and was fine to enjoy myself. Above, I'm drinking the best and sweetest Mojito ever with funny-faced Doug and awesome aunt Joan. This was pre-Prickly Pear.<br />
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I have much more to write, but I'll do it next post. Lots of stuff brewing...and good stuff, I think.<br />
xo<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-91339582543921711962010-05-31T09:42:00.000-07:002010-06-12T07:38:23.210-07:00MOMENTSThanks, <a href="http://smacthoughts.blogspot.com/">smacthoughts</a> for posting this on your blog. Made me want to spread it...<br />
It won't embed correctly, so click on the video to watch a better version on youtube.<br />
<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jNVPalNZD_I&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jNVPalNZD_I&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-69792837098864432272010-05-29T16:52:00.000-07:002010-05-29T17:06:14.096-07:00colors<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TAGp3atJzGI/AAAAAAAAA24/Y48IbBp8rM8/s1600/DSCN0418.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TAGp3atJzGI/AAAAAAAAA24/Y48IbBp8rM8/s400/DSCN0418.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476845391385840738" border="0" /></a>Denver has changed so many colors today. It started off hot and dry and sunny...then windy and cool. And now, the sky is a deep purple and it looks like it might rain. I love this kind of Saturday afternoon, and I love Denver's weather, the changes, the dryness, the lack of humidity. I miss the midwest sometimes, especially my family, but it would be so hard to leave this climate. I think it's my favorite thing about Denver.<br /><br />I'm posting more art. I don't really know why I keep posting my art. Well, I take that back. I started to post my art because I wanted to share the process. I have been afraid of the process of art for a long time, and so I kind of wanted to demystify for it myself. I guess I'm attempting to simply create and I'm wanting to stay away from the temptation to be a "good" artist--I just want to get more confidence in actually creating. Make it a habit. I want it to be<span style="font-style: italic;"> true</span> rather than good. Obviously ;)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TAGqFP5FW5I/AAAAAAAAA3A/3izdaW-JuOw/s1600/DSCN0417.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TAGqFP5FW5I/AAAAAAAAA3A/3izdaW-JuOw/s400/DSCN0417.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476845629001259922" border="0" /></a>Art journal page. Still working on this self portrait thing.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TAGqW4yP0uI/AAAAAAAAA3I/dsyVmHQRJ8o/s1600/DSCN0424.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 395px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/TAGqW4yP0uI/AAAAAAAAA3I/dsyVmHQRJ8o/s400/DSCN0424.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5476845932036215522" border="0" /></a>And this was the previous self portrait but I felt the need to paint abstractly. I found the words "Recipe for a magical childhood" and mod podged them in the middle.<br /><br />I'm still kind of embarrassed to post all this. Oh well. Not that there are many of you out there reading...although my profile says nearly 1000 people have looked at this blog, I think it's about five people looking at it about 200 times each. Thanks for continuing to look :)amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-75320563644506165162010-05-23T07:54:00.000-07:002010-05-23T08:11:41.504-07:00Art Journaling<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lENcHmCXI/AAAAAAAAA2g/B36QAmBsVq0/s1600/DSCN0342.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lENcHmCXI/AAAAAAAAA2g/B36QAmBsVq0/s400/DSCN0342.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474481819722582386" border="0" /></a><br />One of my favorite sites to go to is <a href="http://judywise.com/">Judy Wise's blog</a>. Last night and this morning, I went digging through her archives. I love seeing her process unfold. I love her ability to seamlessly inspire with her words and images. There are lots of truths sprinkled in each of her posts. I don't know her, yet she is a teacher to me--the joy with which she creates, and the joy she finds in other's creations--it's all very affirming.<br /><br />I've been art journaling, too. I'm going to go down and do a little more today.<br />Here are some recent creations...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lD_QaImjI/AAAAAAAAA2Y/2XIg_gs0AOA/s1600/DSCN0341.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lD_QaImjI/AAAAAAAAA2Y/2XIg_gs0AOA/s400/DSCN0341.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474481576060951090" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lD3HelDKI/AAAAAAAAA2Q/PEAG4hSWM7s/s1600/DSCN0339.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lD3HelDKI/AAAAAAAAA2Q/PEAG4hSWM7s/s400/DSCN0339.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474481436224720034" border="0" /></a>When I see these images posted all together I think to myself--I've got a lot of loud stuff going on inside. Do we all? Or is it just me? Glad I'm getting it out!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lDp-lkprI/AAAAAAAAA2I/-0bZiF_GRH4/s1600/DSCN0337.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lDp-lkprI/AAAAAAAAA2I/-0bZiF_GRH4/s400/DSCN0337.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474481210499835570" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lDfojPW7I/AAAAAAAAA2A/L8q-fcfk1po/s1600/DSCN0336.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lDfojPW7I/AAAAAAAAA2A/L8q-fcfk1po/s400/DSCN0336.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474481032785779634" border="0" /></a>Queen with monster hands ;)<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lC1-c_IUI/AAAAAAAAA14/RYTdumzzsZ0/s1600/DSCN0362.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lC1-c_IUI/AAAAAAAAA14/RYTdumzzsZ0/s400/DSCN0362.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474480317110624578" border="0" /></a>Double lives...<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lCryMvmEI/AAAAAAAAA1w/-d2WldYJ27g/s1600/DSCN0365.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_lCryMvmEI/AAAAAAAAA1w/-d2WldYJ27g/s400/DSCN0365.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5474480142022580290" border="0" /></a>I've been realizing the toxic power of people's secrets. Just tell your secrets. It sets you, and the world free. We are all hiding because of shame. Let's take the damn power of secrets away. Truth always wins.amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-19351678162102534382010-05-19T07:57:00.001-07:002010-05-19T08:12:38.435-07:00Middle of MayAnd I'm doing okay. I'm about to go on a walk with a friend and then we're going to soak in the hot springs! I am in need of some relaxation. I went to acupuncture yesterday, and when I was getting ready to leave, I think I saw the acupuncturist's notes on me say something like "acute stress." Nice. Though that seems about right, I also think that the "acute" part is unraveling and I'm finding room for calm and peace.<br /><br />I've been painting. It's all so dang messy. I am trying to accept it. I think I need to carve out even more time to paint because sometimes when I'm doing things messy, it's because I'm doing things very quickly. As if I don't deserve the time. So I think it's partly--there's a lot of messy stuff happening in my life and so I want to just do my art messy--and then there's the fact that I think I'm not allowing or giving myself enough time to paint and just "be" there for awhile.<br /><br />This is my most recent one. I don't know what it's called. I wrote "grief" and "suffocated" on the painting. Maybe that's what it's called. Suffocated grief.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_P9BFSkkvI/AAAAAAAAA1I/tiuveAMQTAI/s1600/DSCN0325.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 398px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_P9BFSkkvI/AAAAAAAAA1I/tiuveAMQTAI/s400/DSCN0325.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472996167227052786" border="0" /></a>Have I mentioned what a crappy camera I have? I really want a new one some day. Soon. On the above picture, in the chest area, there is a clock, but you can't see it because the camera is so crappy. And maybe my skills aren't the best, either.<br /><br />Here's more messy paintings.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_P9P0ElK3I/AAAAAAAAA1Q/CfmPQC2cbgI/s1600/DSCN0323.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 395px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_P9P0ElK3I/AAAAAAAAA1Q/CfmPQC2cbgI/s400/DSCN0323.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472996420303006578" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_P9iqhc2fI/AAAAAAAAA1Y/ev5D4mXlpG8/s1600/DSCN0354.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_P9iqhc2fI/AAAAAAAAA1Y/ev5D4mXlpG8/s400/DSCN0354.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472996744157256178" border="0" /></a>Couldn't get a proper shot of that one. Here's a little bit of detail. Even though this is so messy and kinda ugly in my opinion it speaks a lot of truth to me.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_P96Vwk-dI/AAAAAAAAA1g/npu0Ys1C4zE/s1600/DSCN0356.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_P96Vwk-dI/AAAAAAAAA1g/npu0Ys1C4zE/s400/DSCN0356.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472997150900419026" border="0" /></a>And a self-portrait that I keep starting over. I'm trying to learn to do self-portraits. I struggle. Especially with the eyes lately. And with combining color. BUT, I am having fun. Oh, how I love to paint and get my hands all messy!<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_P-OvtaJHI/AAAAAAAAA1o/tvKJO7BkCgY/s1600/DSCN0347.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S_P-OvtaJHI/AAAAAAAAA1o/tvKJO7BkCgY/s400/DSCN0347.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5472997501463831666" border="0" /></a>I have some journal pages--very messy journal pages :)--that maybe I'll post tomorrow.<br /><br />I stumbled upon a really good quote last weekend that spoke to my previous post of dismantling and I love it.<br /><br />"When all the illusions and props are kicked away and dismantled, maybe then a proper foundation can finally be dug and laid."<br /><br />Yes.<br /><br />Happy, sunny day!amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-50713149942743318282010-05-11T18:51:00.000-07:002010-05-11T19:54:01.851-07:00Dismantling<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S-oTo80_xtI/AAAAAAAAA1A/FxOqvRYT7Is/s1600/IMG_7765.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 360px; height: 270px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S-oTo80_xtI/AAAAAAAAA1A/FxOqvRYT7Is/s400/IMG_7765.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5470206291638994642" border="0" /></a><span style="font-size:85%;"> Gus, my best friend. He survived the dismantling with me.</span><br /><br />I'd been warned about dismantling. To dismantle: <strong>1</strong> <strong>:</strong> to take to pieces; <em>also</em> <strong>:</strong> to destroy the integrity or functioning of<strong> 2</strong> <strong>:</strong> to strip of dress or covering.<br /><br />Yep. That's what has happened in my life. I put all my dreams out there. I was ready for harvesting. Instead, I got dismantled by the universe. I'm not angry anymore, well, not really totally angry ;) I actually see that in order to have anything I really want, things in my career life and in my most personal relationships had to be different. A month ago, I was traumatized by what unfolded before my eyes. I'm still recovering from that. But a month ago you could not have told me that anything good would come from what happened. However, I feel completely open, vulnerable, more real and more human than I've ever felt in my life. I feel like I'm surrendering to god, the universe, the divine, whatever word you want to use.<br /><br />2010 has started off as being the year for surrendering. I have had to surrender myself to something bigger than myself and my desires. It's painful. Extremely painful. I have had to put some of my most urgent desires on hold. Yet I know the universe is conspiring <span style="font-style: italic;">for</span> me. I feel like the lessons I am learning will only make me more whole, more authentic, or as <a href="http://www.brenebrown.com/">Brene Brown</a>would say, <a href="http://www.brenebrown.com/badge">wholehearted</a>.<br /><br />With surrendering comes a bunch of loss. Loss of the "ideal" of things or the idea of the way I thought things should be. However, I even see in that--that the <span style="font-style: italic;">reality</span> of things is the only way things can ever be. More and more I see how ideals or images of perfection--the perfect body, the perfect pregnancy, the perfect marriage, the perfect relationship-- simply do not exist. I've known this all before but feel at a deeper level now. We live in a world where, as Brene Brown again would say, "perfection is commodified." Facebook is the epitome of that, I think. Yes, I know good things happen on facebook, but it just seems to be another venue where people are largely inauthentic and it makes me feel claustrophobic and irritated. Well, that might be not all true. Some people are very authentic, but the whole facebook experience was making me feel more shame and comparison to others, so I set a boundary and quit that, too. I keep in touch with the people I really care about so I felt I didn't need that.<br /><br />One tough part of this transformation process is the change in relationships. I'm facing that in my most significant relationship, but I have hope because my partner is maybe for the first time in his life--exploring his authentic and true self. As painful as the process has unfolded, I know that he will be more whole through this. And I will, too, no matter what happens. In having to face my worst fears about people and their capabilities, I am learning to accept the <span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">reality</span> of things, and face my own uncomfortable feelings and work through them authentically rather than self-medicating, distracting myself or being in denial about life.<br /><br />Other relationships are suffering though. I am simply unable to surround myself with people who are in denial about the reality of their own life or addictions or ways of deflecting reality. It's really hard to deal with life. However, I feel like I'm not really living if I don't accept and live out <span style="font-style: italic;">exactly what's happening</span>. It's so easy to distract, to push things under the rug, to hide, and to tell stories to ourselves and others that simply are not true.<br /><br />So, I was cursing you a month ago, universe, and giving you the finger big time. But today, right now, I'm relishing in gratitude. I'm thankful for the lessons I'm learning and the support I'm getting by just being real and putting it out there.<br />xo<br />Amyamyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-86284018459876089722010-04-11T20:26:00.001-07:002010-04-11T20:26:35.482-07:00April is National Poetry MonthAnd so here is Mary Oliver.<br /><br />The Journey<br /><br />One day you finally knew<br />what you had to do, and began,<br />though the voices around you<br />kept shouting<br />their bad advice--<br />though the whole house<br />began to tremble<br />and you felt the old tug<br />at your ankles.<br />"Mend my life!"<br />each voice cried.<br />But you didn't stop.<br />You knew what you had to do,<br />though the wind pried<br />with its stiff fingers<br />at the very foundations,<br />though their melancholy<br />was terrible.<br />It was already late<br />enough, and a wild night,<br />and the road full of fallen<br />branches and stones.<br />But little by little,<br />as you left their voices behind,<br />the stars began to burn<br />through the sheets of clouds,<br />and there was a new voice<br />which you slowly<br />recognized as your own,<br />that kept you company<br />as you strode deeper and deeper<br />into the world,<br />determined to do<br />the only thing you could do--<br />determined to save<br />the only life you could save.amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-21540149755039633932010-04-08T06:46:00.001-07:002010-04-08T09:27:36.219-07:00Revised<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S73nFP7ZkxI/AAAAAAAAA0Q/LpNi47BzYuA/s1600/revisions.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S73nFP7ZkxI/AAAAAAAAA0Q/LpNi47BzYuA/s400/revisions.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5457772400803943186" border="0" /></a>via <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/stilleben/">stilleben</a><br /><br />Blogging has been on my mind and I have not had time to actually do it. Well, here I am today.<br /><br />I've been wrestling with <a href="http://mondobeyondo.org/">Mondo Beyondo</a><a> stuff. <a href="http://mondobeyondo.org">Mondo Beyondo</a> is really a simple class. You get something new to read everyday, sometimes you get a little "assignment." It seems easy. But it's really not. Facing things about myself that I really want, yet don't yet have, can be scary, daunting and frustrating. I keep coming back to this phrase in my mind...."everything I want, who I really want to be....it's just on the other side of myself." It's not like I want to be a different person, I just want to be who I <span style="font-style: italic;">really</span> am. It's tiring to not be myself. I think I am <span style="font-style: italic;">mostly</span> true to myself, but the times I'm not--they are tiring, exhausting, toxic times.<br /><br />I realize, too, that when I posted my list on my blog, I revised a few things because they seemed too silly--which is funny because Mondo Beyondo is essentially about being outrageous with our dreams. I also left things out because I felt too vulnerable, too exposed.<br />Here is what I revised:<br />When I said that I want to <span style="font-style: italic;">get</span> a camera, preferably a Canon EOS Rebel XTi, I really wrote, "be <span style="font-style: italic;">given</span> a Canon EOS Rebel XTi"<br />I felt selfish posting that. Outrageous. But you know what, that was one of my Mondo Beyondos.<br /><br />Another thing I didn't post publicly--I have had ongoing "female" related issues. I want them gone. I want to feel healthy. I want to enjoy my body. Be in my body. Be healthy, fully alive. I want to never, ever have a damn <a href="http://www.medicinenet.com/yeast_vaginitis/article.htm">YI</a> again. Oh, and I want a healthy cervix, which I <span style="font-style: italic;">think </span>it is--have a pap tomorrow. I want a healthy uterus. I want to become pregnant, have my cervix stay closed for nine months, and I want it to open and I want to give birth naturally to a healthy baby. I really, really want that. I don't want another miscarriage. I feel adamant about that, and I kind of shoved that in on the bottom of my list, when it really is entirely important.<br /><br />Something left off my list: I want kind, quiet neighbors. Our neighbors have been causing us strife for the last year. The police are there many times, there are major domestic issues, yelling, screaming--horrible energy to have coming into our home. I really, really, want kind, quiet, non-toxic neighbors. I feel so powerless to this situation, that I realized I left it off my list. I want to not feel at our neighbors mercy, I want to not feel powerless to them harassing us. <br /><br />Something BIG I think I left out of my list: I want to go to an art retreat like <a href="http://squamartworkshops.com">SQUAM</a>, or <a href="http://www.teeshaslandofodd.com/1/temp.html">JournalFest</a>. I want to meet other supportive artists. I want genuine support. I am making a little dent toward that--I am going to a <a href="http://www.theartistsnook.net/w-kendrickeveryface.shtml">workshop</a> in June with <a href="http://joyouslybecoming.typepad.com">Kelly Kendrick</a>. Yay!<br /><br />What in your life needs to be revised? What do you really want? What do you continually, even unconsciously, talk yourself out of doing/saying/expressing/being?<br /></a>amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-85764774293609467552010-03-28T09:30:00.001-07:002010-03-29T10:34:56.142-07:00weekend painting.I spent all weekend painting. I used to paint really fast, finishing each painting very quickly. I wanted to be done fast, in a big sweeping "woooooosh."<br /><br />About two years ago I went to this <a href="http://www.apothecarytinctura.com/retreats_painting.cfm">awesome women's process painting workshop</a><a>. It was Friday night, all Saturday and Sunday. We were forced to work on the same painting all weekend. We couldn't "start over." We had to refrain from saying both positive and negative things about our art and other's art--it wasn't about being "good" or "bad"--it was about painting and about our own process.<br /><br />I learned a ton at that workshop--how I used to paint really fast because I thought I should "get it done" fast, and that I shouldn't spend time on something so "pointless or useless." What I found out that weekend was the truth: that I actually <span style="font-style: italic;">wanted </span>and <span style="font-style: italic;">needed</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">more</span> time to paint. Lots and lots of time. The ongoing question is now...can I give myself lots of time and fight the inner critic?<br /><br />Anyway, painting this weekend reminded me of that workshop. I loved painting all weekend, but I hated this actual painting most of the time.<br />painting part 1:<br /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6-GWdYccTI/AAAAAAAAAzA/vq-daya86F0/s1600/DSCN0240.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6-GWdYccTI/AAAAAAAAAzA/vq-daya86F0/s400/DSCN0240.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453725394171359538" border="0" /></a><a>But I had to sit with that. Again, the voices of "it's ugly...it's weird...what the F" etc, etc. But I sat through it.<br /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6-G1IdrhJI/AAAAAAAAAzI/FSzEw_jja9c/s1600/DSCN0246.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6-G1IdrhJI/AAAAAAAAAzI/FSzEw_jja9c/s400/DSCN0246.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453725921132119186" border="0" /></a><a>Painted through it.<br /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6-HAxrcZaI/AAAAAAAAAzQ/7rIC0gh9tRQ/s1600/DSCN0248.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6-HAxrcZaI/AAAAAAAAAzQ/7rIC0gh9tRQ/s400/DSCN0248.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453726121174263202" border="0" /></a><a>I still don't feel totally satisfied with it:<br /><br /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6-HSJjuVoI/AAAAAAAAAzY/_OS2tf771Vs/s1600/DSCN0249.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6-HSJjuVoI/AAAAAAAAAzY/_OS2tf771Vs/s400/DSCN0249.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453726419642111618" border="0" /></a><a>But that's not the point. It feels "done." Even though posting this process is actually hard, because I look back and like other stages better. But I'm letting it go.<br /><br />This is what I love about art and about process art: I learn so much about myself--how to work through my own judgments, or at least let them just be there without dictating me. Because if my judgments had dictated me, I would have painted really fast, like for one hour, and then would have put it away the whole weekend and done something else that would have not been nearly as fun and meaningful.<br /><br />Well, that felt good. :).<br />I'm going to go outside now and enjoy this sunny day.<br />xo<br /><br /></a>amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-42896837474563157912010-03-26T13:55:00.001-07:002010-03-26T14:06:58.802-07:00Whoa. Two Posts in One Day. Is that Okay?<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S60gV-E_OxI/AAAAAAAAAyw/2xIrCWBwD_A/s1600/DSCN0157.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S60gV-E_OxI/AAAAAAAAAyw/2xIrCWBwD_A/s400/DSCN0157.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5453050285628799762" border="0" /></a><br />I somehow came across this today--been on the internet too long, but maybe it was so that I could find this.<br /><a href="http://www.sarkjournal.com/2010/03/doing-more-things-badly.html">Doing More Things Badly</a><br /><br />It reminded me of the above picture. At a recent family vacation, the little kids wanted to do a "talent show." I'm not saying people weren't "good" at what they did, but the idea of a talent show was not really to show off talents, but to just have fun and do something different. The above picture is of the adult Bergan (my family) in-laws, doing an off the cuff "rap," and called themselves the "outlaws." It was funny, and the whole evening of each family member willing to do something imperfectly--was invigoratingly fun.<br /><br />Doing things badly, more things, badly. What a revelation!<br /><br />Happy weekend.amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-81921434580321359942010-03-26T06:50:00.000-07:002010-03-26T07:15:51.585-07:00Fear and stuff....<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6y_MkKxOBI/AAAAAAAAAyo/36mcGFg-TZc/s1600/DSCN0027.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 345px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6y_MkKxOBI/AAAAAAAAAyo/36mcGFg-TZc/s400/DSCN0027.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452943471427008530" border="0" /></a><br />I just listened to an audio interview of <a href="http://www.dianeconway.com">Diane Conway</a> from <a href="http://www.mondobeyondo.org">Mondo Beyondo</a>. I watched a little clip of Diana on her <a href="http://www.dianeconway.com">website</a>. She seems hilarious and free. Over time, she interviewed people about what they would do if they had no fear.<br />Top answers:<br />1. Quit my job<br />2. Travel the world<br />3. Skydive or get into a relationship<br /><br />What's with us that we separate our dreams so far from ourselves? We build careers and jobs we have no real interest in...we suck it up because we want to make money, we want to be safe, we want to please our parents, look "good" for others, make sure we're doing the "right" thing--according to society's rules. However, can anything be "right" if it's not in line with our personal values and internal standards?<br /><br />I think about how I've spent my entire life trying to find my passions, but a lot of what I thought were my passions were just reigned in because they were "normal" enough, and what a good girl should do. I'll be a good therapist, a good counselor, a good helper. Yes, I like counseling people but I've only been able to imagine two options in that world: working for an agency or having private practice. I did private practice and it was pretty courageous of me to just start. But something was missing. The manifestation of it has never felt right. It hasn't given me energy. It drains me.<br /><br />I've always loved art, but no one really knows that because I don't say it out loud because it always seemed so silly. For example, only a few family members, a few friends, and my husband know that I want to do art. I want to somehow blend my counselor self with my artist self with my brave, fearless self. It will manifest somehow. I'm sure of it! Here's someone I found recently, <a href="http://www.brenebrown.com">Brene Brown</a>--she's my new hero.<br /><br />What have I done despite fear:<br />1. Moved to Denver<br />2. Got a dog<br />3. Got married<br />4. Started a private practice<br />5. Am teaching college--every day I go into class filled with a little fear<br />6. Signed up for Mondo Beyondo<br /><br />I have a bunch of things I want to do in the near future--yet fear fills me. I guess it's not about getting to a place with no fear, it's working with and through fear. I guess that's where courage comes in! <br /><br />What would you do today if you had no fear?<br />Do it!<br /><br />xoamyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-60511540702149209852010-03-24T12:22:00.000-07:002010-03-25T16:19:24.912-07:00MessyThis morning, I woke up early and painted! It was a snow day--it snowed a ton last night and the town seemed shut down. I had planned to go to a volunteer training at <a href="http://www.girlsinc.org/">Girls, Inc.</a>, but that was canceled. It's funny, though, by 2 pm the sun is out in Denver and the streets are all clear. The sidewalks are melting. I love that about Denver--the sun warms everything.<br /><br />Here's a painting I started today. I don't know what it's really about, or where it's going, or if it's finished. I found some old sketch pads and mod podged the sketches to my canvas. The sketch I did felt very primitive, or something. Sparse. I'm having fun mixing colors and being very messy.<br />Here's how it started.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6pnrHNsmSI/AAAAAAAAAws/rsiGF0bTRLc/s1600/DSCN0227.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6pnrHNsmSI/AAAAAAAAAws/rsiGF0bTRLc/s400/DSCN0227.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452284289253939490" border="0" /></a>Here's where it went<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6pn7cjPO6I/AAAAAAAAAw0/SPnaIbPsPTg/s1600/DSCN0235.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6pn7cjPO6I/AAAAAAAAAw0/SPnaIbPsPTg/s400/DSCN0235.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452284569859341218" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6vvZ6VKtFI/AAAAAAAAAyc/HUN1SUm3NR4/s1600/DSCN0238.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6vvZ6VKtFI/AAAAAAAAAyc/HUN1SUm3NR4/s400/DSCN0238.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452715002295923794" border="0" /></a>And I'm getting into the swing of journaling. I just do a little everyday. I try to not really plan, just intuit, and go with it. This kind of process seems to feel so good right now. It feels so good to be so messy.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6poPHhtHbI/AAAAAAAAAxM/x8RiyUPp5rw/s1600/DSCN0219.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6poPHhtHbI/AAAAAAAAAxM/x8RiyUPp5rw/s400/DSCN0219.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452284907813150130" border="0" /></a>Here's one inspired by a Neko Case song:<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6poWJIMEQI/AAAAAAAAAxU/q-6ROGd_bZc/s1600/DSCN0222.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6poWJIMEQI/AAAAAAAAAxU/q-6ROGd_bZc/s400/DSCN0222.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452285028502081794" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6puzx16v3I/AAAAAAAAAxk/sbN5vkNwVb0/s1600/DSCN0224.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6puzx16v3I/AAAAAAAAAxk/sbN5vkNwVb0/s400/DSCN0224.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452292134717276018" border="0" /></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6pobqjOlwI/AAAAAAAAAxc/S-BqxXc3A_8/s1600/DSCN0225.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6pobqjOlwI/AAAAAAAAAxc/S-BqxXc3A_8/s400/DSCN0225.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452285123373209346" border="0" /></a><br />I've been realizing what keeps me from doing art: All the "shoulds." I have always felt like there was some way one should paint, like there were rules and techniques and a secret code that I must "get" in order to create. Instead I've been giving myself permission to just "do." There's always a little resistance--"it's so ugly!" "it's so messy!" "uggh, what would someone think of this!" But I am ignorning those things because that's not that point. There's really no point and that's what I'm liking.<br /><br />And here's the kind of morning it was. All the dogs followed me downstairs. I tried to take a picture of all of them snuggled in the room, but only Gus stayed for the picture.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6pnlEkv6FI/AAAAAAAAAwk/HxdvwMorwgc/s1600/DSCN0212.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6pnlEkv6FI/AAAAAAAAAwk/HxdvwMorwgc/s400/DSCN0212.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5452284185466103890" border="0" /></a>Happy Wednesday!<br />xoamyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5070148409367708710.post-27047021400867500082010-03-22T18:52:00.001-07:002010-03-26T13:46:05.627-07:00Mondo Beyondo<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6gkPUfRJyI/AAAAAAAAAwM/n0gjdr0aWz8/s1600-h/DSCN0031.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6gkPUfRJyI/AAAAAAAAAwM/n0gjdr0aWz8/s400/DSCN0031.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451647194548479778" border="0" /></a>I've not written in a while. Things have been busy as always. We just got home from a family trip to Arizona. It was a great week filled with swimming, sunning, hanging out with the family, laughing, and relaxing. We stayed at this great house in <a href="http://scottsdaleaz.gov/">Scottsdale</a> that had a pool, basketball court, batting cage, and outdoor fireplace with couches. It was luxury yet was a better deal than trying to find rooms for all of us to stay at a hotel or resort. I was really sad to leave everyone. It was just too short. Here's my sweet niece, Lucy, swimming in the lovely, warm pool.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6glC9dETvI/AAAAAAAAAwc/0dA9jZcpCwc/s1600-h/DSCN0190.JPG"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_xEols_kF2vM/S6glC9dETvI/AAAAAAAAAwc/0dA9jZcpCwc/s400/DSCN0190.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5451648081718431474" border="0" /></a> I've also been out of the blogging loop because I've been doing this great, online "dreaming" class called <a href="http://mondobeyondo.org/">Mondo Beyondo</a>. Mondo Beyondos are the dreams that make your stomach flutter, the dreams that feel silly, "too out there," and make you feel vulnerable. The class is about allowing yourself to dream big--it's about believing in your dreams, and shifting out of old patterns that keep you stuck. I'm loving it.<br /><br />Here's my Mondo Beyondo list! I have some repeats throughout--but I guess that means that those dreams are really important.<br />It's amazing how many dreams you have if you let yourself dream.<br /><br />-make a comfortable living<br />-start a flea antique/craft market in Denver that's stupendous, successful and buzzing<br />-become way more confident--speak what i feel and be truthful<br />-move to Tucson<br />-have an art show that's really fun with a bunch of creative, fun people<br />-be an artist full time<br />-live in a converted barn with two kids, dogs, with a cool studio where i run women's workshops<br />-open a great bakery<br />-love doug unconditionally and fully and keep laughing together forever<br />-run a half marathon<br />-heal my precious left foot<br />-learn to love swimming<br />-build a community of genuine, committed friends<br />-clean out/make this house kid-friendly<br />-be a joyful, cool, loving creative mom who blends self with other in a balanced way<br />-counsel people at CCD and make a little extra dough<br />-believe in myself, love myself<br />-stop apologizing so much!!!<br />-have a group of really good friends who are creative, soulful, genuine, healthy and funny<br />-be given a scholarship for art at the rocky mountain college of design<br />-teach more creatively<br />-offer/implement something meaningful, important and profitable to championship prod.<br />-learn to budget well, build savings<br />-let creativity and confidence spill out of me<br />-get paid more for teaching<br />-be healthy forever<br />-have a loving, joyful family<br />-be a trend-setter<br />-learn how to blog better<br />-learn about design<br />-design my own banner<br />-learn more art techniques<br />-find a spiritual community/church that is supportive and fits me<br />-got to golden, co more often<br />-find out more about my ancestors<br />-talk more meaningfully to my family<br />-show my mom and dad i love them unconditionally<br />-learn how to plant flowers and garden more<br />-run amazing workshops with ease and make money doing it<br />-create a mondo type course but with my eyes and view<br />-do something to help fight childhood obesity and promote health to kids<br />-learn to knit, crochet<br />-get sewing machine<br />-make curtains, sew paper<br />-get a really nice camera<br />-go to burning man<br />-go to vermont on an east coast road trip<br />-learn printmaking<br />-learn more about art in general<br />-get into the rocky mountain school of design and become an artist<br />-start a farmer's market in our neighborhood<br />-love my parents more fully<br />-be a super loving wife who is joyful, loving and confident<br />-trust fully<br />-go camping a lot<br />-learn to be more self-sustaining<br />-go back to crested butte for a long while<br />-travel to third world country<br />-spend significant time in the carribean on a beach with my husband<br />-go to mexico<br />-be strong and powerful<br />-earn money<br />-have ease with jobs<br />-hike more<br />-bike to work and bike around town<br />-be a super dynamic and genuine couple<br />-represent artists<br />-make denver a cooler city<br />-move to a cooler city<br />-sit on a secluded beach in northern california and take pictures<br />-meet judi wise, mati rose, and kelly rae<br />-be totally comfortable in my body<br />-have an amazing marriage to doug for life<br />-take pictures<br />-explore the desert<br />-have awesome relationships with each of my family members<br />-find more joy everydya<br />-wear funky clothing that feels like "me"<br />-go on road trips<br />-organize this house<br />-paint and do art everyday<br />-make big paintings<br />-sell my art-have people come look at my art<br />-meet supportive artist friends<br />-learn how to farm<br />-live on a farm<br />-go to europe with doug--spain, italy<br />-become pregnant, sustain a healthy pregnancy, and give birth to healthy, loving, funny children<br />-go to wine country SF<br />-travel northwest and hang out with the locals<br />-go to cuba with doug<br />-learn more about yoga<br />-teach yoga to girls<br />-inspire girls to be themselves and accept themselves<br />-live SEAMLESSLY<br />-live in a light-filled house<br />-find great, affordable rugs<br />-redo bathroom<br />-redo basement bathroom<br />-be a great organizer<br /><br />As Mary Oliver would say, what do you want to do with your one wild and precious life?amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04728586654230249359noreply@blogger.com4