Middle of May

And I'm doing okay. I'm about to go on a walk with a friend and then we're going to soak in the hot springs! I am in need of some relaxation. I went to acupuncture yesterday, and when I was getting ready to leave, I think I saw the acupuncturist's notes on me say something like "acute stress." Nice. Though that seems about right, I also think that the "acute" part is unraveling and I'm finding room for calm and peace.

I've been painting. It's all so dang messy. I am trying to accept it. I think I need to carve out even more time to paint because sometimes when I'm doing things messy, it's because I'm doing things very quickly. As if I don't deserve the time. So I think it's partly--there's a lot of messy stuff happening in my life and so I want to just do my art messy--and then there's the fact that I think I'm not allowing or giving myself enough time to paint and just "be" there for awhile.

This is my most recent one. I don't know what it's called. I wrote "grief" and "suffocated" on the painting. Maybe that's what it's called. Suffocated grief.Have I mentioned what a crappy camera I have? I really want a new one some day. Soon. On the above picture, in the chest area, there is a clock, but you can't see it because the camera is so crappy. And maybe my skills aren't the best, either.

Here's more messy paintings.
Couldn't get a proper shot of that one. Here's a little bit of detail. Even though this is so messy and kinda ugly in my opinion it speaks a lot of truth to me.
And a self-portrait that I keep starting over. I'm trying to learn to do self-portraits. I struggle. Especially with the eyes lately. And with combining color. BUT, I am having fun. Oh, how I love to paint and get my hands all messy!
I have some journal pages--very messy journal pages :)--that maybe I'll post tomorrow.

I stumbled upon a really good quote last weekend that spoke to my previous post of dismantling and I love it.

"When all the illusions and props are kicked away and dismantled, maybe then a proper foundation can finally be dug and laid."

Yes.

Happy, sunny day!